Thursday, September 25, 2008

Indian Matrimonials

Indian matrimonials are really hilarious. Here are some I stumbled upon recently- so glad I never had to go this route!

Here are some Indian men looking for women:

1. Nowhere Man
I know you're out there somewhere, but you're not where you're supposed to be.

Not only is he convinced that the reader is SOMEWHERE (so smart), he also knows that the reader isn't where they should be. Brilliant. He notes that his health is "spectacular": I doubt if that is necessarily a verbatim medical opinion.

2. junnaid
I am very royal and sweet person . i await for my life partner for share my all love to her. Hello Hi Iam junnaid. Iam god fearing person. I want to become big person in my life. I live life very enjoyfully with islamic rules.I Thanks allha becouse . allha give me all things.So we remember to each and every time to allha. ok I am very straitforward person.

Junnaid- you freak me out, despite yuour claims to royalty. I shudder for the girl who responds to this.

3. teek2739
Goal oriented, confident, funny and honest 28 year old gentleman!! I'm a hard working, goal oriented professional. I just turned 28 and live in the west loop of Chicago. On the weekend's, I enjoy working out and spending time with family and friends. I believe in making the most of your free time, weather it be spending time enjoying the weather or participating in an event or playing a sport. I have been working as a sales product specialist for the past 6 years and really love my job. I just started a new career with SPSS Inc. and I’m excited about my new changelles and opportunies. Currently, my time has been consumed with night class at Roosevelt University and just completed my first two classes this past spring. I’m definitely an optimist. I always look at the good in every situation, no matter how bleak it may actually be. I’m honest, out-going and think of myself of being funny…or maybe people are just laughing at me! I’m goal oriented and believe we all have the opportunity to do what we want and archive our goals with hard work.

I've no idea what he was trying to say- this one will get a girl quick though- nerds rule!

4. ice_josh
- That's all this entry said- also mentioned his health was "over the top."
I am speechless with wonder.

5. vikram2006
"I have high aspirations moderate expectations and modest necessities. I am honest,committed,stable,..."

The guy's written an entire essay online, in his praise- ladies, if you are searching for a pompous ass, this is your chance!

6. strangely normal
Please adopt me. I have all my shots.

This guy's on the wrong website. He needs a kennel. He additionally concedes to wear a little black dress if needed, and also explains that he "doesn't do religion".

7. thomaskv
I am thomas.I am God fearing and my parents are from traditional christian families from central Travancore.I work in the computer division in police force in trivandrum.I am a post graduate in commerce with PGDC in computer.I am residing in trivandrum.I am a non smoker ,fair and non-alcoholic.
Good for you Thomas- you are able to rely on all your families, and are a non-alcoholic to boot!

8. double-sided
I only have 4 minutes to save the world...

He also mentions he loves his jeans, and wants interested ladies to "just drop me a message with your email." GAH.

9. praveen_sf
Laughter is the best medicine...

Insists his health is "good as new"- I am really not sure what that means- is he an alcoholic on the mend (unlike dear thomas above) or needs to be "dropped a message"?

And the best self-advertisement ever (drumroll):

10. kauraboyz
i want a NRI girl which is citizenship in abroad . WHICH HAS ANY EYE COLOR

Direct and desperate, He continues:

Profile Details
i am a sikh boy.i want to marry with a NRI girl which is citizen in abroadi work in SGPC [SHROMINI GURUDWARA PARBANDAK COMMETY]. I AM A GOOD BOY. I AM NON DRINGINGMAN . I AM NON SMOKER MAN. I AM VEGETARIAN.

Desired Match


There really is nothing more that can be said. Looks like a girl, wants Western citizenship, and is ready to settle for ANY EYE COLOR- but likes non-drinking, vegetarian, Sikh girls. Maybe we can send him a American-bred female calf owned by a Sikh family.

Now to find some of the "Women seeking men"- but maybe not- I find it hard to be mean to my own kind :)


Bollyviewer said...

Rotfl. This is hilarious!!!! You should do a post on "Women seeking men" - cant wait to find out weather they are looking like girl and any eye color OK in NRI grooms or not! :-D

Shweta Mehrotra Gahlawat said...

rofl- yup, it definitely remains to be seen "weather the girls are looking like vegetarian non drinker boys" ... lets see what I can find :)

theBollywoodFan said...

Seriously, this was a great great read! Thanks! =)

spending time enjoying the weather

Aah...bliss...I would've added 'and I would like to sing Rafi's classic Aaj Mausam to whoever I end up with' -- I need to start a consulting practice ;)

The whole citizenship thing is freaky. And oh, I wonder what it says of someone who is 'outgoing' seeking a match through this channel...I'd understand if it were for a small minority group, but none of these people seem to fit that!

Anyway, here's a second to Bollyviewer's note to publish a 'women seeking men' post.

Shweta Mehrotra Gahlawat said...

Ha ha alright- my research on "women seeking men" begins now :D

It is of course known widely that ppl do marry for citizenship- but to read a blatant advertisement was definitely shocking- couldn't help pitying the man for his naivete :)