"Aloha! Here is what you were looking for"- wow really? someone knows exactly what I was looking for! how nice! its unfortunate of course that they are selling me phone tracking devices to investigate "untrustworthy loved ones" (actual quote).- it isn't what I am looking for quite yet.
"Wet and waiting for you all night"- I'm so sorry, but I do not want wet/dry unimaginables any time of the day/night. Sorry to hurt your feelings.
"I found a key is it yours"- Proper punctuation aside, its hardly likely.
"Housewives wanted"- by who? I'm not one and don't want one.
"At last found you" - now lose me. fast.
"This Spanish wants to talk to you"- me habla minimal espanol- sorry.
"Colon Cleanse" - They care about my health! aww how nice.
I can also "lose 30 lbs in 30 days"- lovely.
"Girls wont dump you anymore"- thank goodness for that!
Then there are the emails themselves- and I seem to keep winning lotteries! yay! Notice how the promotion manager is a Dr.
dateTue, Mar 17, 2009 at 7:13 AM
CONTACT NAME: Mr. Ray GibsonCITY/ COUNTRY: LONDON, ENGLAND.TELEPHONE: + 447031922810, + 447031910579EMAIL: email@example.com
Congratulations once more!!!
Apparently I am internationally famous, even among professors in the bylanes of Dublin:
Dear Selected winner,
Contact the verification department by providing yourReference Number:RFIR/5043/3223/66Batch number:B5/R565-33
You are also advised to provide him with the under listed informations.
1:Full Name___2:Home Address___3:Nationality And PresentCountry___4:Age___5:Occupation___6:Phone/Fax/Sex
Email:firstname.lastname@example.orgCall Now: +44 70457 0955
And this of course has to be every one's all time favorite:
to dateWed, Mar 25, 2009 at 10:25 AM
YOUR URGENT REPLY NEEDED IMMEDIATELY FROM THE DESK OF DR. MOHAMED AZIZ.MANAGER AUDINTING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.BANK OF AFRICA(BOA)OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO.WEST AFRICA.
Thank you and best regards.