Women seeking men

After insistence from Bollyviewer and The Bollywood Fan, I found myself researching the sequel to the Indian Matrimonials post- here is therefore the Women seeking Men :)

1. Looking for groom (separated/divorce/widow
My 1st marriage life went to wrong within 3 days. My ex-husband ran away with other girl after 3 days marriage life and spoiled my life for just to satisfy his parents wishes. Now I am looking for broad mind person who like to marry me and make me happy and care me. I am very sure that I will take care you very much.
I wish you would not look for widows to get married to. I don't believe same sex marriages are yet legal in India. Also I am a bit skeptical about the drama.

2. teenvs
whats my parameter of assessing anyone? me. not a full-proof way but what can be done?...thats the only tool available. though erroneous, but may be u too, just throw a cursory glance on the first few lines of personal ads and a fleeting glance at the pic...then...the chapter changes. no calculation or road map works here, so lay back n enjoy the show!
First of all, she titles herself a "teen," which is troubling. Secondly- wth is she trying to say???
Huh.

3. bahl81
So a bit about myself:I don't really expect much to be honest with you. Not because my standards are low, but because I'm a simple girl with simple desires. ...When I'm laughing hard enough (which is easy to get me to do), I tend to go into fits of laughter resorting to tears and a great ab workout! ... I'm very clean and tidy, have great table manners and know how to be respectable. I've been raised to hug all the aunties and make small talk with all the uncles.
Amazing. She starts by admitting she isn't being honest- therefore you have to be a real loser to respond to her ad. A tendency towards hysteria and some neurological problems also appear indicated. Note that she communicates with aunties and uncles only- all others may pose an issue.

4. Sincerely003
It's not how we live and interact with others that count but most importantly, it's how we interact with ourselves...Be Happy!!!I believe in life that you never stop learning..I am easy going, passionate, athletic, and hope to find someone with similar qualities. Hope to hear from YOU!!Always Believe in Yourself and Your Dreams!!
She scares me.

5. Wanted bride-grooms..
Rich & only Girl, very attractive, soft-spoken, God-fearing girl aged 28-yrs (MOOLAM Nakshatra) needs Bride Grooms who are in Software/Bank sectors. Bride-Grooms without father preferred.
Umm- there ARE other girls you know- you cant possibly be the only one. Also I suggest you look for 1 single man- not Bride-grooms. I am glad you appear OK with the Bride-grooms having mothers at least- but what will you do with so many?

6. Wanted
looking for my daughter 22 yrs, ,colur normal fair, good looking,smart,active,homley services,education graduate, either proffessional employes or our tradational job of who has done agama as his proffession for 4.11 inch height
Now wait a minute- why are you looking for your daughter on a matrimonial site? Should'nt she be at home? And how come your daughter is under 5 inches in height???

These last two were probably the most entertaining:

7. Wanted
I am santhosh my elder sister for seeking groom, bride name padma priya, date of birth 15.12.1976, vanniyer,D.H.S.M,D.Y.N,looking for any job or business Age 32 to 38 same caste (bride small fat).
You cant be your own elder sister. I am also glad your sister isn't bride big fat. Also, call China- you may find a eligible cousin of Chow Yun Fat.

8. Cute Tamil divorces
i got divorce recently due to misundetrstanding, cute, young call or send mail.he should be caring lovable, open, broad minded, widowers and divorcess can also contact, colour, religion caste no bar.
I can hardly believe Tamil, or any divorces are cute in any way. Divorces cannot paint, color or perform activities that you describe either.

Concluding thoughts: I almost felt bad doing this-The men had been simply quiet in their bios, not saying anything that would reflect negatively upon them in any way. The women were by and large more superfluous with words, poetic, dramatic and highly unbelievable.